By Mary Ann Senatore (Your Weight Losing Friend)
Before I tell you about something that happened to me recently, I want to tell you that on April 23rd, I am taking a trip to Las Vegas. I am taking my mom for her 75th birthday and if you have never been to Vegas, it should be on your “bucket list” for sure.
I purchased a stunning red dress, and when I bought it, I will admit, it was a bit snug. I am down a total of 65 pounds, with 20 left to go, and the now dress fits like it was made for me and I will certainly be taking it on my trip.
I hung the dress outside the closet and every day I was reminded of my goal to wear the dress when we see Cher in concert. I certainly think setting small goals make weight loss so much more attainable and realistic. I believe the best goals can be achieved in five pound increments.
Does Weight = Worth?
I ask this question because of something that happened to me recently. I was flying back to Florida and the airline was asking for one volunteer to take a later flight so that a family could fly together. My plans were very flexible and I was able to make the switch. As I approached the counter, a woman a bit older than I am, shorter in height, and overweight approached ahead of me.
The gentleman behind the desk was in his 30′s and he looked over the woman in front of me and asked me if he could help me. I indicated that the other woman was there first and she said that she would be willing to switch her flight.
I was wearing a brand new pair of smaller size jeans, a t-shirt, sandals and sporting a new hair cut. I will admit, I felt good about myself and when we feel good, we of course project confidence.
Once I heard that she was willing to change her flight, I stepped back and what happened next was a shocking surprise. The young man once again looked over her, directly at me and said that he could help me. He had not even spoken to the other woman, and I clearly had a look of surprise on my face. She just looked down and started to walk away.
I had to laugh to myself because he had no way of knowing that about a year ago, I was her size, if not bigger. However, as I looked at my cell phone for the time, I said that I believed the other woman was before me and that she is willing to switch. I went on to say that I didn’t realize how far behind the other flight would put me, so I will keep my flight, and to please let the other passenger make the switch.
She looked at me and smiled. She completed her switch and the counter person barely spoke to her while making the transaction. He did not look at her as he completed the necessary paper work and as he thanked her, he only made eye contact with her for a second.
Once she was finished, she walked to her seat and as she passed me, she said thank you. I smiled and had very mixed emotions about what happened.
Was I having to much ego? Was I seeing a difference of treatment because of size? Was I wrong? Was I right? How did she feel? Does being overweight give people a license to treat us like we do not have worth? As I pondered these questions on my flight home I could relate to how she felt, but could not comprehend his actions. Have we become so appearance driven that the more pounds we are the less worth we are shown?
Weight Is Not Worth
I have a friend who met a wonderful man on line. She has been my weight watcher partner and each week we “compete” for who lost more that week. She has been in a loving, caring, and fulfilling relationship with her on line love for five years. When they met, she had lost 50 of the 150 pounds she needed to lose, however with a new 50 pound confidence level; she put a profile on line.
She corresponded with him for about three weeks and got to know the true essence of him before ever physically meeting him. In this time while they corresponded they exchanged ideas, beliefs, opinions, feelings, and descriptions of themselves as well as pictures. She told him of her weight loss success thus far and also of her eventual goal. His reply was that he didn’t find skinny women attractive and that he already liked her personality so there was nothing to worry about.
Those words were like magic to her ears and she decided to go for it and meet him. She figured what was the worst that could happen, after all it was just dinner. As he approached her when he stepped out of his car, she said that a feeling came over her like none other.
BAM! It was love at first sight and at nearly 50 years old, she could not believe what she was feeling. Dinner lasted two hours and that was the beginning of an amazing relationship.
In the five years she has known him, there are two things she says that have been consistent in their relationship. She is grateful for the time they corresponded before they met and she got to know him before seeing him. She felt she knew him before she met him. She says that writing to someone is so much easier than saying things sometimes and she knew that she was so much more open, confident and relaxed in email than in person. These feelings she says were because of her weight at the time.
As time went by and they got to know each other physically, mentally and spiritually, she also says that he has never made her feel fat. She says that she has always been confident that he loves her for who she is and not for her number on the scale. To him, who she is, and not what she weighs gives her worth.
As you set and achieve your goals, think of your own worth, and what feeling of confidence you want to portray. You can lose weight; you can achieve your goals, and don’t let anyone stand in your way.
Your Weight Loss Friend,
Wish me luck in Vegas!