Tanja's Teenscape

Incredibly, people still ask why / how/ and when a child gets autism, rather as if it were a cold that one catches from others, or food poisoning brought about by the consumption of unwholesome food.
And then there are the know-alls who say that autism does not ‘really’ exist – it is merely an umbrella term to cover misbehaviour and the tantrums thrown by “spoiled” children, as well as the attitude problems of those who do not want to obey orders.
Specialists – psychologists, neurologists, psychiatrists, and developmental paediatricians – tell us it is a multifaceted permutation of both hereditary/genetic and environmental factors; the ‘nature and nurture’ argument.
Although autism is usually diagnosed in childhood, it may be perfectly possible for the child to learn masking behaviours such that the family members of this person will only realise that there is a difficulty with communicating with him during the teens, or even later. “He’s like that” may mean anything – from avoiding eye contact to being fastidious over routine to having sensory issues.
Ironically, autism is usually diagnosed when other medical conditions have been ruled out. The fact that this condition is a spectrum does not help, either; symptoms may range from mild to severe, and a reaction may sometimes be triggered off by something we do not even notice, since we deem it inconsequential (pouring milk in the glass before setting out the plate on the table, a sudden noise in another room).
Family members and friends of persons who have autism sometimes feel as if they are walking on eggshells. One minute, the teen is talking calmly or joining in the rough-and-tumble of ordinary life, and then next, something may annoy him enough to create consequences.
However, in time you learn to ignore what “people” say – i.e. that the person is clamouring for attention; that he is spoilt; that he needs to see a psychiatrist. Plainly, and simply, you cannot cure autism. You can go with the flow, and try and teach the persons who have it the required skills for living life in a world where the majority is not “like them”.
This is usually done with a combination of therapies: behaviour; medication; music; occupational; physical; and speech. There will also be social skills training, which is necessary because the brains of people who have autism process information differently from how it is done in those who do not.
Sometimes, there is what is known as “sensory overload”, when the person is overwhelmed by sensations, thoughts and feelings that he may not be able to put into words or even understand. This will result in excessive movements that many people will misinterpret.
You just cannot generalise; some people who have autism are extremely intelligent; some have intellectual difficulties. You cannot assume that because something “worked” with one person, it will work with another.
Imagine trying to communicate with someone who does not understand your spoken language. You may make yourself understood with signs, or even sketching or pointing… but you will never be able to get across the nuances of your feelings if you cannot explain yourself “properly”.
You are lucky. The next person to whom you talk, if he understands your language, will be able to follow all you say… and all you are not saying. For a person with autism, who does not understand verbal or visual cues (like sarcasm or facial expressions such as frowns or raised eyebrows) all others speak “a foreign language” all the time.
To them, it is not “rude” to interrupt a conversation sometimes with something that has nothing to do with the topic under discussion. They think nothing of leaving the room when they have had enough, even mid-sentence. They do not understand why people who do not know better tell them to “be quiet”. But here of course we must mention Professor Temple Grandin.
This is a basic list that swill help you connect with teens who have autism, whether they are your own, or friends of your children. Because, sometimes, this becomes necessary:
1. These teens are extra-sensitive to sensory stimuli; avoid hugs, loud music, and food with strong flavours.
2. Play-act social scenarios so that the teen gets used to being in different circumstances.
3. Make sure that school authorities know the child has the condition, so he will not be labelled disruptive or troublesome.
4. Try and discover his are of interest and get him to communicate with your through that.
5. Do not force eye contact.
6. Accept him for who he is, not for whom you would like him to be.
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A list of acronyms to know:
ABA: Applied Behaviour Analysis
AIT: auditory integration training
ASA: Autism Society of America
ASD: autism spectrum disorder
DAN: Defeat Autism Now
EI: early intervention
FC: facilitated communication
GF/CF: gluten-free/casein-free diet
IDEA: Individuals with Disabilities Education Act
IEP: Individual Education Plan
IFSP: Individualized Family Service Plan
ND: neuro-diverse
NT: neuro-typical
OT: occupational therapy
PDD-NOS: Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Not Otherwise Specified
PECS: Picture Exchange Communication System
SI: sensory integration
SPD: Sensory Processing Disorder
SPED: special education