By Manali Vaish Arora
All men have infatuations and most fall in love too. But when it comes to approaching a girl or asking her out, they become taken over by another emotion – nervousness and drop the idea for the fear of rejection.
If you are a guy, who has been in a situation like this, think about this. Even if she rejects you, what difference will it make? Once you ask out a girl, you will either have her as your girlfriend or not have her in your life. Isn’t this better than swinging between the two and regretting not approaching her later in life? Please understand that your life will not stop if she says “No” to you. You will be the same (may be much better) and she will be the same.
Now imagine a positive reply from her. What if she accepts your proposal? You will thank your stars for pushing you to ask her out. When considering asking a girl out, never think about her reactions or what she will think and say. If you keep worrying about her reactions, you will never be able to go ahead with your plans. It’s been rightly said, if you are focusing on your fears then you are not really focusing on what you are aiming and are destined to fail.
What is fear of rejection? It is nothing but a form of ego that gets hurt when a girl turns down your request. If you are complete strangers, you may not be much affected. But, if you are friends with her, you may end up losing her as a friend or some kind of awkwardness may find its way into your friendship.
When you want to ask out a girl who is a friend, you need to be really careful. Asking a girl out girl and asking for a date from a girl who is a friend are two different things. You cannot use the same strategy on a friend unless you want to put the friendship on stake. To propose a friend, you need to flirt a little with her, give her compliments and change the way she looks at you. You need to communicate to her indirectly that you like her. This can be achieved by doing small things like-
• Giving her flowers
• Giving her Compliments
• Flirting with her
• Teasing her and crack jokes
• Making eye contact when she is around or when the two of you are talking
• Giving her late night calls just to say you are missing her
• Asking her to wear a dress that you really like by explaining your liking for it.
• Giving her a smile from a distance when she is talking to someone else
Please do not attempt to try all the above mentioned tricks in one day. Take time to make her realize how much you like her. Let her know about your feelings and give her time and space to take a decision. You will know about her liking for you through her body language. If she smiles at your jokes or flirts back, responds to your late night calls and wishes to spend time with you, it means she likes you too. Now think of the best proposal ideas and use anyone of them to ask her out. If you still fear rejection, you may seek help from a friend, who is willing to indirectly communicate your feelings to her. His feedback will help you plan your proposal wisely.
Coming back to asking out a girl who is a stranger, no girl would accept the request of a man she hardly knows. Let her know you and become friendly and comfortable before you ask her out. However, you can continue with your flirting to keep her aware of your intentions.
If you are wondering how to propose a girl you already know, the answer is – confidence, a good sense of humor and a positive body language. Confidence will let you approach any girl without fear of rejection or nervousness; a good sense of humor will help you handle any situation with humor. For example, if the girl gets angry or doesn’t like your request, you can use humor to lighten the environment and cool down things. A positive body language will let the girl know what your intentions are and what kind of a man you are.
Also make sure you know what you need to speak. Fumbling words are a big no-no for girls. Act like a macho man but be polite and keep a smile on your face to look friendly.
For a woman to accept your request, you must make her feel comfortable and happy with you. If she enjoys your company, she would want it more and you will get the advantage of spending more time with her.
About the Author:
Manali (Vaish) Arora is the Co-Founder of Love, Dating, Relationships and More. She writes articles for her own website and is also a professional contributor to a number of websites as well as print media.