Moms, aunts and do-gooder married pals are eager to dish out advice, but what does a person really need to know before taking the leap? Whether it’s getting married, moving in together or just talking of an engagement, there are a few topics that need to be thoroughly investigated before moving onto the next level. Much to some people’s surprise, some of the absolute musts don’t seem very important upon first look.
First, money should always take precedence, even if that might not sound very romantic. Retirement planning, savings, fun funds, who pays what, and to joint account or not should all be discussed. A pre-nuptial agreement is often a good idea, even if the couple doesn’t think their level of wealth demands it. Money is a leading cause of divorce, so why not address it from the get go?
The Day-to-Day Stuff
If a couple hasn’t lived together yet, the day-to-day stuff can easily become exacerbated into huge blowouts. Is one person tidy while the other one lives in a clutter? That might seem charming in the beginning, but it’s nearly guaranteed to lead to massive fights. It’s critical to figure out what each person is expected to do, from who washes the dishes to where dirty clothes go.
Something as seemingly minor as one person neglecting to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube has landed a number of couples in counseling. Additionally, speaking with a professional before any big problems happen can also help to set the stage for a smoother relationship. Those little quirks, like one person chewing loudly, might not seem like much now but they can become huge.
How time is split with friends should also be addressed, especially if one person is more social than the other. Sex should also be openly discussed, since it’s often natural for sex to decrease the longer a couple is together. It’s critical to make time for sex, prioritize it and remember that it’s an important connection to intimacy.
At the same time, when a couple gets more serious, one of two things may happen: the couple become hermits, or one person is still very much living their single life without the other. Choose date nights and a number of night(s) per week for friends, and stick to it.
How to Fight
From finances to something as small as deciding which snake repel product to use in your yard, every couple in a healthy relationship will have arguments. The trick is figuring out how to do so effectively and in a healthy manner. This all comes down to communication, which isn’t an innate skill. That’s why going to a counselor is a great first step, because these experts can provide tools on how to best communicate.
It’s not all romance and fireworks when getting married or getting serious. In fact, there’s a lot of exasperating times ahead, but that’s okay. Having the right discussions and tools from the beginning can help a relationship succeed.
Michelle is an aspiring writer with a passion for blogging. She enjoys writing about a vast variety of topics and loves that blogging gives her the opportunity to publicly voice her thoughts and
share advice with an unlimited audience.