Category Archives: parent information

Tablets for Kids-If You Can’t Beat ‘Em…

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Seems like everyone and their cousin has a tablet these days.  Many models have become quite affordable, and some people just seem driven to have the latest technology no matter what the cost.  One piece of fallout from this digital revolution that’s creating portable computing is that our children are exposed to the devices at younger and younger ages. How do you feel about tablets for kids?

I had a lunch outing with a young mom the other day, and was delighted to see that she brought her two-year-old son.  Of course, being two, he got a bit antsy before we ladies were done with lunch.  Twenty years ago, I would have jiggled the baby, tried a few distractions from my diaper bag, then had to excuse myself before the tyke started howling and disturbed the whole restaurant.  My young friend just handed him her mini tablet!  When he tired of one game, she helped him switch to another, then finally put a movie on for him to watch while we finished lunch and he dozed off to sleep.  Quite a change over twenty years!

Now, I’m not being critical at all.  Parents are going to use the tools they have available to occupy, entertain, and yes, even educate their children.  A few generations ago, we had televisions, then desktop computers and video games, and now tablets.  The same questions loom, and I’m pretty sure we will arrive at the same answers: It’s not necessarily the technology that’s bad for kids, it’s how we choose to use it.  The scientists can debate all they like, but the fact of the matter is that tablets are here to stay, and developers are very mindful of young parents’ tendencies to want distractions for little ones.  Tablets for kids are here to stay.  How will you choose to respond?

Granted, I don’t have a young child in the house anymore (though someday I may become a grandma).  I do have some strong opinions on the subject, though, perhaps because I’m an educator.

Like television, computers, video games, and all of the other techie toys that we’ve grown so fond of, let’s use these devices sensibly with the kids.  The key, like for most of the rest of life, is moderation and discretion.

I do feel that kids need to learn other strategies for distracting themselves, for soothing themselves to sleep, and for interacting with the rest of the world.  I do feel that it is very counterproductive to ALWAYS hand your child a gizmo when he or she is fussy.  I also feel that we do children a huge disservice when we use these devices as a substitute for interaction and monitoring that parents have always needed to be doing.  In other words, tablets are no more babysitters than televisions were when my children were young.

That being said, tablets and phones and similar items are not going away any time soon, and we need to learn to use them (and have our children use them) wisely and well.  Take the good things and maximize them and weed out the counterproductive aspects.  That takes a bit of doing, but it is quite possible.

One of the first things I would suggest is an app (yes, there really is “an app for that”!) that allows you to enforce usage limits for your child.  It will also give you information about just how much of the time you give your device to your youngster, which is good to have a clear idea about.  One such app is only 99 cents in the Apple App Store and works on all of your Apple devices.  Check out TimeLock .  If Android is more your speed, check out MM Guardian.  I’m quite sure there are others out there as well, and commercials are indicating that the new Kindle Fire comes equipped with such parental controls.

Consider the types of things you have for your child to do on the device, as well.  Find apps that are developmentally appropriate, that contain no advertising, and that limit access to the internet and social media for your younger children.  It’s good to be able to disable those features if they are there.  And yes, these sorts of apps do exist!  One of my favorite review sites for Ipad apps is Best Apps for Kids, where you will find info about apps for children of all ages.  Of course, I have to admit to just a little bit of bias here; I write for the site.  If you’re interested, you can see my opinions of several great educational apps linked at my author page on Best Apps for Kids.  Stop on over to visit, and get some great ideas of what’s out there for your children to enjoy while they learn!

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Got a question or a comment about tablets for kids (or any other educational topic)?  Please leave it below, or you are welcome to email me directly at sfleming1235(at)gmail.com.

Turn Travel Time into Talking Time: Mobile Conversation

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If your family is like most, you spend a good deal of time with your kids…in the car.  Your days are filled with hauling kids to and from school, lessons, and extra-curricular activities.  Take a minute to add up the time you spend transporting children each week.  Surprising amount, isn’t it?  In our rushed society, you can make these minutes count in lots of ways.

Start with plain, old-fashioned listening.  Kids tend to talk in the car, and talk far more than they do at home.  You might need to institute a “no electronics” rule as you travel, but it can be well worth your while.  Without the distraction of the television, video game set, stereo, and toys, there is little left to do BUT talk.  Something about the lack of eye contact even makes talking about those difficult subjects a bit easier, too.  Children riding in cars with their parents sometimes share bits of their lives, information about their friends, their fears, their dreams, and their problems.  Riding is rapidly replacing the vanishing family dinner table as the time for conversation, and many families are finding that if you can’t beat ‘em, you might as well join ‘em.

The same rules apply to mobile conversations as those that previous generations had around dinner tables.  Be a good listener, and avoid disciplinary or corrective comments.  Keep the conversation a pleasant time of sharing so that everyone feels comfortable.  Make sure everyone in the car gets a turn to speak, and that no one tramples the feelings of others.  Respect for others’ opinions and civil conversation rules should apply to everyone.

So why is it so important to keep these rolling conversations going?  Why bother nurturing them and enforcing rules?  It’s much simpler just to turn the volume up on the radio and allow everyone to disappear into his or her own private thoughts.  Why should we work to keep conversations active?  It’s simple, really.  Pleasant conversations with parents and other adults help children in lots of ways.  Kids who converse are more socially adept than their peers.  They build a closer bond with their parents.  They are less likely to indulge in risky behaviors as teens, and parents know more about their children’s activities if you keep these lines of communication open.

Conversation with family is a safe time to practice many social skills.  Children who are involved in regular conversations learn the give and take pattern, discover more about how to read body language and facial cues, and better perceive underlying meanings from tone, word choice, and other subtle clues.  These abilities will help your child to succeed in the social milieu of school, church events, youth meetings, teams, parties, and other group situations.  A child who is deprived of this practice is condemned to learn these skills from peers in less supportive environments.  If a child does not succeed, he or she may have difficulty in social situations well into adulthood.

Any relationship needs attention and nurturing.  We’ve all had friendships wither and die due to lack of communication and conversation.  Without regular contact, it’s very difficult to keep a friendship alive and help it to grow.  Parents who want a close relationship and eventually have friendship with their adult children need to begin laying the foundations for that in childhood.  Travel-time conversations are one way to find the time to begin the process.  As you and your child chat, you are showing that your youngster holds an important place in your heart and mind.  Your attention is a powerful tool!

During these times of nonthreatening communication, you will have countless opportunities to express your beliefs and your feelings about sensitive and controversial topics.  It’s a great tool to help you convey your values to your children.  Youngsters may not have the opportunity to see you apply these important life tools, but you can discuss times and places where you have made moral decisions and their outcomes.  You can help your child to learn to consider consequences and match actions with values.  In this way, you can influence your youngster along the paths that you feel are best.

In addition, conversation builds academic skills.  Children who converse with adults on a regular basis use a larger vocabulary, employ more complex sentence structure, and can express themselves more freely than those who do not.  These fundamental language skills, in turn, support improved reading and writing skills.  Students who have a wide vocabulary have an easier time understanding the material that they read and can identify unfamiliar words more readily.  Writers who have a good command of oral language are more able to set their words to paper to create various kinds of written projects.  Children who have developed the listening skills necessary to participate in give-and-take conversation also develop the skills necessary to listen to oral directions and follow them.

Conversation with adults will also add to your child’s store of basic knowledge as you discuss your surroundings, current events, historical perspectives, and the underlying reasons why the world is the way it is.  For young children, this may take the form of answering “why” and “what if” questions.  And just like favorite story books, children may need to hear the answers to favorite questions again and again.  This is a normal and natural part of the learning process, and hopefully you will indulge your young friend.  The repetition meets a number of psychological needs as well as cementing concepts into place.  Older children will increasingly want to delve into history questions, like “what was it like when..” and “how did this happen?”  They will search for deeper answers to questions that begin with “why,” and for further information on ideas that have been presented to them elsewhere.

Don’t bemoan the number of hours you spend on the road with your children; take advantage of it!  “Mom’s Taxi” is a great place to converse and truly get to know your passengers.  You can build social skills, develop values, add to knowledge and much, much more as you chat with the folks in the backseat.  And you may even learn a bit about them and their lives if you listen carefully.  Turn off the radio, turn off the CD players, and put away the hand-held video games.  Car time doesn’t have to be wasted time!  It can be the most valuable time of the day.

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Got a question?  Leave me a comment!  I’ll get right back to you.