“I don’t want to remember those times,” some say.
“I don’t like seeing pictures of my mother (or other family member) looking like that,” another remarks.
I explain that I learned to appreciate Mother during those years. Yes, there were bittersweet moments, as I recalled the person she once was. But aren’t there moments of regret, or wishing to turn back the clock, when you consider other family members or your children in earlier years?
Many of my photos of Mother include my grandchildren (her great grands) who only knew her in this way. They have fond memories of visiting her in the nursing home and interacting with her. If we adults don’t show adversion to that person, children are so accepting and can teach us to love and bring joy.
So…perhaps you should consider creating a family album of those Alzheimer’s years. Don’t compare it to the years before Alzheimer’s. Simply accept that person as she/he is now and enjoy them, as well as bringing them joy.
I now consider it a privilege that I was able to care for my mother during those years.