Bite Your Tongue and If I Had Known

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An acquaintance of mine confided in me that whenever she wants to bring up a subject that might be disagreeable to her husband, she has to pick and choose the timing carefully.   For instance, she has to be certain he is “in a good mood” or he has to need something from her, like sex.    I take offense to this.  If there is something important to you that you need to discuss at a particular time, why do you have to put your needs aside and wait for that perfect moment so that you don’t upset him?  Why do we always have to consider the other person’s feelings – over our own?  I guess now I am asking for advice (lol).

And another story confided in my recently – a women back in the 60’s who was physically abused by her husband.  He was in the military and she was a stay at home mom.  How much of this is still going on.  It’s sad – for all parties involved.

On a lighter side -  another friend (male) says to keep his wife happy, he just says “yes dear”.  He stays happy that way too:)

My poem for this month – April:

IF I HAD KNOWN

If I had known what trouble you were bearing;

What griefs were in the silence of our face;

I would have been more gentle, and more caring,

And tried to give you gladness for a space.

I would have brought more warmth into the place,

If I had know.

If I had known what thoughts despairing drew you;

(Why do we never try to understand?)

I would have lent a little friendship to you,

And slipped my hand within your hand,

And made your stay more pleasant in the land,

If I had know.  (Mary Carolyn Davies)

Have a wonderful April,

Respectfully,

Karen

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Daffodils and Spring

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I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o’er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd, -

A host of golden daffodils

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine

And twinkle on the Milky Way,

They stretched in never-ending line

Along the margin of a bay;

Ten thousand saw I, at a glance,

Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced, but they

Outdid the sparkling waves in glee;

A poet could not but be gay

In such a jocund company;

I gazed-and gazed-but little thought

What wealth the show to me had brought.

For oft, when on my couch I lie,

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.

William Wordsworth

It is almost April and in some parts of the country, the golden daffofils dance!

Respectfully,

Karen

 

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IT’S VALENTINE’S DAY

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It’s Valentine’s Day and you don’t have to go to Hallmark, or out to a fancy dinner – you could just wake up with your sweetheart – and do something different and special.  If Valentine’s Day is meant to be a day to show your love, why not switch up the roses for some good old-fashioned quality time this year? Rarely does Valentine’s Day pass by without your notice. Even if you are single and think the day has no significance, the day will arrive and you will want a relationship more than usual. Think of Valentine’s Day as “Focus on Love Day,” as opposed to “Hurt About Lack of Love Day” or “Ignore Being Single Day.” My husband and I, since we are retired, are going to hang out all day, go to the beach, drink champagne, eat great snacks and have loads of sex when we get home.  Then about 9:00 pm or so – I’ll  be asleep!  Hey, at our age, that’s a big day.

Though gestures of affection are certain to be appreciated (far be it from me to discourage flowers, chocolates, jewelry, Hallmark cards or an expensive dinner), actually doing something together can be equally rewarding. OK, to help you out I am going to offer some suggestions:

Sunset Walks, Dance Lessons,  Picnic (Not every Valentine’s Day meal has to take place in a restaurant with reservations. Put together a picnic — indoors or out, surprise or planned — and turn a romantic meal into a sweet tradition.) Cooking Lessons, Hop In the Jacuzzi, Read poetry to each other, Cook her/his favorite meal, or just say “I love you” an enormous amount of times during the day.

Put a focus on “being together” in a romantic way. Happy Valentine’s Day

Respectfully

Karen

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